Online Dating Advice

There are many reasons why relationships do not survive or people choose not to stay together anymore. Many couples have encountered the same problems for years, and only at some point later in their relationship that they decide to be apart. Although, this may seem said and heartbreaking, but for many men and women this is the only way to go! Essentially, when you meet someone, and you fall in love, and spend every minute together, this initial drive, motivation and excitement had to “escape” somewhere in order for people to feel that they no longer should be together. Where does it go? Really!

Although, it may take a little time for someone to fall in love, it still based on some kind of feeling, not just physical attraction. Something about this person you just cannot get out of your head, you cannot sleep, eat or function properly. Though, it may seem like infatuation in many cases, but beyond that people feel connected in some ways that magnetizes them to another person in the way that they cannot help themselves. Does that sound familiar? Many of us experience that at least once in our life time, and we almost always can remember the details of that time, as something really precious that happened at one point of our life. Many of these “I am crazy about you” relationships do last a long time, and many die out…

Are we that blind in the beginning of something new, that we cannot distinguish what is right or what is wrong for us? Or do people really change this much that, we find ourselves confused and disoriented about our personal life?

The answer to this can be really subjective! For the most part, people do connect in the beginning one way or another; there is definitely something other than the physical attraction. In some cases however, it is desperation, loneliness or a heartbreak that throws us in the arms of another person! Clearly, when people meet the first time they tend to exaggerate about them as they would in the job interview, but that is usually common and somehow people learn to accept this as part of dating. There are many cases where someone really just a player, and is insinuating the kind and type of person you are looking for, and eventually misleads you or breaks the relationship. So, this is the type of person that was never there to begin with, but only pretended in order to gain personal interest! And this is not always hard to detect as you would see in some odd behaviors of this person, and you will suspect it right away!

In the other hand, there are those who do click so much in the beginning that they actually end up dating for a while but then again, something happens where they pull away from the person they had that incredible connection with! The human beings are so complex and interesting at the same time, so that sometimes it is hard to tell what really ruins the relationships. Some people find themselves in some unpredictable situation, so that the only way to handle it, as they know it, is to get out, leaving the other person all confused; some people find themselves in the situation where they are too afraid to commit, even if the relationship feels right, they sabotage the satiation, again leaving the other person confused and disappointed; some singles search for this someone special, and when they finally find it, ironically, they find themselves in the dilemma of what to do with it. Many people afraid of being hurt, and many people unfortunately afraid of everything that is good. When you are treated well, when someone cares and loves you for what you are, some people cannot accept this because they are used to different type of interaction in the relationship, so they tend to bring up or provoke something that will deliver a little bit of drama, so that they can start “dealing” with it. This situation, by far are the most unforgiving, because you see two people who love and care for each other, but somehow one cannot accept all that “good” that comes with it, and literally punishes the other person for it.

Another, very common reason is that the couples just choose not to work on their very common issues that most of relationships encounter. It appears that, the couples today luck the part of “understanding” of each other; putting themselves in the situation, in order to understand what the other person is going through; the simple desire to be together, and help each other to recognize those special things we learn about another person.

At last, there are those relationships, that do not last at all.. For one, there are relationships where ether both men and women, or just one person accept the relationship with some faults, that they are attempting to fix, and in many cases it does not work. Many people say if it is not “perfect” in the beginning, or already started by having some major problems, chances are it is not going to work. However, there are some exceptions to this rule! Many people are able to overcome some issues, move on, thus make the relationship evolve and flourish.

Many people have reservations about the relationship that they are in, but it is just natural to feel that. No one wants to find things out the hard way! Therefore people seem to be more careful now days when dating a new person.

If you look at the person you are with, and realize that this is the one you want to be with at the end of the day; that this is the person that makes you feel secure and happy most of the time; then it is worth your while to work and enjoy your relationship with this person! Look at the bright side of things, not at the negative! I guarantee you that everyone has problems, no matter how “perfect” they seem and act!

Choose today to look deep in to your relationship, and find the light and the kindness in it! Learn to appreciate your partner, respect them, and cherish the very core of your union and love!

Tanya Wiseman

Author