Online Dating Advice

Dating after you reach thirty can turn out to be different then than when you dated in your early twenties! That is a true statement! You add the experience, maturity, wisdom, heart breaks, and manifold of lessons received in your former relationships to the pot, and you’ve got the person that you are today!

Although, the thirties have their own benefits, the dating and the relationship part changes drastically- form the type of person you want to meet to physical and personal characteristics you cannot do without. The benefits of being in your thirties are surpassing! First, you are in your prime sexual pick that is for women; second, your career most likely already took off, and you are absolutely confident in your professional life; thus you can afford the luxuries of life much more then the young student, or underpaid intern you used to be! Third, you probably had your heart broken at least once, and have had excessive amount of blind dates, and unsuccessful relationships, that only lasted a moment!

There are many men and women who transferred their relationship from their early twenties to thirties, going along together through growing up and embracing life! I admire those very much, because they sort of raise each other, and learn things about life together! I know many couples who went this road, got married and have kids! They seem to have a great bond together, and the relationship appear to be really strong!

Now, for the couples that never made it in their early twenties, or singles that had short term relationship, the thirties may pose some difficulties in regards to dating! Men and women in their thirties, as I said earlier, do change their outlook on life and the people they want to spend their time with. The major shortcoming for the ones who starting to date in their thirties, is that both parties (sexes) most likely established their views and their personalities for themselves, however it does not mean that they would alter them, change or compromise for another person! If the men or the women is only used to getting their way, or being always in control, they would have a hard time to adjust to someone who will not reciprocate to this kind of behavior. I believe that people can probably change as they grow and learn about themselves and other people, but it appears that after certain age, thirties to be exact, it is a lot harder for people to change in a good way! Therefore, many will and do struggle every day from inability to meet or get alone with someone! If you have the ability to and are looking to change, that is really fantastic! If you know of things that you want to change in your life, and the behaviors you are coping with, the change could be dramatic! You can find new ways and joys of life, by adapting some necessary and positive changes! But really, the change can be really good for you; if there is something you struggled with all your life, or up to this point, you have a chance to try something that may be able to lift the burden, and unveil the possibilities of happiness!

My view on all this is that ideally if you do find someone who shares the same values and characteristics as you, at least eighty percent, then you are absolutely lucky! However, in the everyday life, you do not find that type of ultimate matching! But there is something you can do, learn to embrace and compromise, and essentially be happy! I do not mean that you should settle or just accept less than you desire, however you can learn to be accepting as a person, to see the best in everyone, be compassionate, and for the most part try to be less judgmental about the person’s past. I believe, that if you open your eyes, so to speak, and allow person to shine, you would be able to see the most wonderful qualities in the partner of your dream! Easy said than done!

But, I see a lot of my own friends who suffer from the fear of getting heart, excessive judgment, the unfortunate burdens that come from their former relationships, that are carried through like an “accessory” right in to the new relationship.

I do realize, that you cannot just change people, nor you can erase the past; but you can give people a chance or chances, in order to find the kind of person that will change your life forever! We all have that certain perception of what we want, or what would make us happy, or what we think we need to sustain the relationship; but sometimes turning the opposite way can significantly change your awareness forever! Perhaps, you meet someone outside of your basic “acceptance chart”, and you find out that this person can give you much more than you expected; that this person can stimulate you in every possible way!

What I am trying to say here, that you should not be afraid to take chances, be open minded, and allow people to change your life!

Tanya Wiseman

Author