Online Dating Advice

We all heard the saying that thirties are like new twenties now days! Is that really true? Perhaps it is, because women today feel and look much younger in their thirties; they get involved in too many activities, and absolutely refuse to feel like the “over the hill” women. Although, today’s women feel and act more emancipated, then they did in the past; they still struggle with the whole dating and relationship dilemma. Many of women in their thirties had already accomplished their carriers and their studies, and many of them already had have relationships and marriages that did not work out. So, the question for many occurs is that, how do you start all over again? What kind men should they be looking for? What kind of traits should dominate over others? Is dating someone with children wise?

Although starting all over again, when it comes to dating and relationship in the thirties may be a little bit scary, it can absolutely be rewarding! Since your previous relationship did not work, and you had already closed that chapter of your life, meeting someone new can be really refreshing! Keep in mind that before this time, you were not just younger, but you were, perhaps, less experienced in your personal relationship or even marriage. At this point of your life, you most likely know what you want, and chances are, you will be able to discern what is right for you and what isn’t!

I think that having relationship and dating after thirty is fantastic! You really truly get to be you- the sophisticated, fabulous and mature women that you are! For many women, the former relationships brought a lot of anxiety and hurt in to their lives, open the doors for some “learning experience” that made them stronger and wiser, allowed for some revelations about themselves and others to help them to support and sustain the relationship in the future!

Unfortunately, many women in their thirties feel very discouraged about dating. The ones who had never been married still want to meet the men who had never been divorced nor have any children; and the women with children would prefer one like that to. However, in the real world, we see multiple situations when it comes do dating. Many single women would date men with children, and basically consider the role of a “step mother”; and this is due to a lack of selection of available single men out there. Women choose to be with someone with children, accept inevitable drama that comes with this type of relationship with both parents involved, rather than being single, or date “unattached” man. I do not think that this is their ultimate choice, but rather the comfort and stability that they find in those men, many of whom I believe can be very good men!

Of course it would be so much easier to be with someone who has never been involved in to marriage; but some women find it more frightening. They feel that the men either did not “grow up”, afraid of the commitment, or have something about them or their personalities, that women ultimately reject! I also believe that some of these men are just like many of women; they are just looking for the right person, and essentially refuse to settle down just with anyone!

The considerable amount of women with children, are more resilient and more open about their choices. Having men in their life that has children will allow for mutual understanding and mutual goal of raising kids. Many women opt for a single guy without any “liabilities” end up dating and even marrying them. I’d say there is no really right or wrong order of things when it comes to relationships; what counts is whatever works between two people, and whatever makes them happy!

In today’s statistics in regards to relationships, it seems that the relationships that formed between the men and women in their thirties, is more stable and the couples stay together, get married and have kids. I think this happens because both men and women already know and understand what they need to find in their partner for life; they understand the characteristics that they can live with, and tendencies that they cannot accept; they both become more tolerant of every day issues that couples may have; men and women realize and appreciate the important things that drive the relationship, and inferior ones that needs to be the filtered out.

However, we also see quite a few men and women in their thirties, who experience more frustration and aggravation when it comes to dating, in comparison in their twenties. They may have been under minding the monogamy’s relationship in their twenties, while dating numerous partners; but once the thought of a solid and meaningful relationship was embraced (later on in their thirties), the sudden wave of perplexity overcame them. Unfortunately, old habits die hard! It is really challenging to reprogram your mind to think straight! So, many of these men and women end up with the wrong type of partners, due to the lack of identifying abilities for a suitable match. To make it sound simple, it means that they do not know how to be and behave in the serious and steady relationship. For many singles, it will take a long time, and many unsuccessful dates to be able to survive in and sustain the relationship. There are many men and women who overcome this issue, and are destined for the eternal bliss! They accept and undertake dating and relationship so well, that it essentially leads to marriage and children.

At the end of the day, every single person wants to be with someone to share their life and love together! And, although the dating and the relationships may be challenging at times, it is ultimately the finest gift we ever receive and enjoy!

Tanya Wiseman Author